I am writing this post in between looking up references for a research paper I have to turn in this week. Tomorrow, actually. Crap.
I wanted to say something to the people who read my blog. Partially because I haven’t written in a week and don’t want anyone thinking I ran off with that moscato and chocolate cake, and partially because I need to say something to all the moms……so here goes.
Stop being so damn judgmental of other moms.
There. I said it. Looking at a small piece of a mom’s day and making a snap judgement about what kind of parent she is, it’s just wrong. You can’t see the whole puzzle if you only have one piece.
You wanna know what kind of mom I am? I am the kind of mom who spends hours on Mondays driving each of her kids around to different activities after I spent the day grocery shopping, cleaning and/or doing homework because I am also a full time student. That being said, I am also the mom that at 8 pm – when I am finally leaving my teenager’s basketball practice with two other grumpy, tired kids who still have homework, showers and dinner to think about with bedtime a mere 30 minutes away – can be heard across the parking lot yelling at my kids to get in the car and stop bickering. I am the kind of mom who throws her teenager’s cell phone out the window when that teenager is blatantly disrespectful. And who corrects my children in public for having bad manners or a case of the “gimmies”. I am also the kind of mom who bakes cookies, reads to her kids every night (even if two of the kids think they are “too old”), has random dance parties to a mixture of 80s hits and current pop with all of her kids, and listens to hours of piano playing and minecraft explanations and pretend stories straight out of a four-year-olds imagination.
Did I mention that my husband’s job has him out of town from Monday morning until Thursday night two weeks out of the month? Or that, as a combat veteran with PTSD, there are times he is home that he just can’t deal and will disappear into the garage to make me a beautiful piece of wooden furniture as a way of apologizing for not being able to help? Or, how about the fact that I have anxiety from things in my past including an occurrence of MST (military sexual trauma) while I was a soldier?
My point is, every mom has those parenting moments. And, every mom has stuff they are dealing with that you know nothing about. So, if you hear another mom yelling at her kids, don’t assume it is the status quo in their home. If you look out your kitchen window and see your neighbor arguing with their teenager, don’t assume the kid is an unruly brat and that the parents are failing.
If you yourself are dragging your screaming four year old out of Target because she wanted a toy and all you bought was dog food, I promise not to judge you or your four year old, but to instead offer a kind smile.
The world could use more kind smiles and less snap judgments.